Not too sweet, not too rancid, just right

I've been trying to learn more about wine. I swear it's not because I just watched Sideways. It's always seemed to me that a working knowledge of wine would be a useful thing for an aspiring hedonist to have. So far, all I've been able to learn are the absolute basics about things like different varieties and different wine-producing regions. (This is actually quite an accomplishment. Up until a couple of years ago, I knew this about wine: What's the word? Thunderbird! What's the price? Thirty twice!) What I'm having trouble with are discerning all the different characteristics people claim to be able to discern in a glass of wine. I'm at the point right now where I can pretty reliably tell the difference between a white wine and a red. I can't do it blindfolded or anything, but if you set a glass of red and a glass of white in front of me, I can usually point out which is which.

Unfortunately, that's as far as it goes. My senses aren't trained yet to distinguish all the different qualities people find in wine. I don't want to be one of those guys who turns into Auntie Marialani ("This is a light-hearted wine with a morose attitude. Flamboyantly nondescript...subtle, yet annoying"), but I would like to know what people are talking about when they say things like "black cherry and plum flavor with a strong finish." As it is now, I can describe a glass of wine two ways: "More delicious" and "Less delicious."

OK, there is one other thing I know about wine: Strawberry Hill kicks Wild Island's ass.